They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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