Screwed.edu
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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