It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
