Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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