What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
