Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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