recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
