And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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