STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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