Having a random hookup so left but love u
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
