eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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