Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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