it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
