it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
