you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just had sex on a roof
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
