Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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