What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
