it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
