I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Your penis caused this!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
