the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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