It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
