And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he puts the penis in happiness.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
