like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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