Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
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