HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
