Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
