You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
