Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
FUCK WHALES
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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