i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
