I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I've blown a few things in my day
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
