fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
time to smoke my breakfast
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
