I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
stop calling my apartment porn island.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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