why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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