i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
