You just made me feel so damn special
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
