yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Mom said you looked used
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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