Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
