fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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