Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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