My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
