I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
