My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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