Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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