i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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