From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
