You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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