Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
