She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
