The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
