No, you can still breathe under the balls.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
