I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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