Please, let me fuck your mom
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
bring money and cleavage
you will always have a special place in my vag
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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