We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
