I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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