I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize