Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
party gras won. party gras always wins.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
