the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
