PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
