I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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