I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
