check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
