apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
