paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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