the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
